Two days at the Abbey of the Genesee was two days of contemplative isolation; no talking, no tv or radio, only cornfields to ponder what is understandably the biggest transition in my life and Lord, I wish I had a peace about it all.
After some reluctance I decided to buy a copy of "Shantaram" (which means a man at peace with God in the Marathi language). I'm not sure if a story about an armed robber who escapes prison in Australia and winds up in the slums of Mumbai is exactly contemplative reading but his story captivates, no pun intended, and it had(s) me reflecting on a lot of things.
But before I started this 900 page textbook I finished "The Power of Myth" and I'll need to read it again because it is as well scary good and it has challenged me to consider what happened to me four years ago and how to deal with its aftermath, the downward spiral to salvation, as Dorothy Day said it, or the downward spiral to reconciling before hitting bottom, as I look at it. Campbell says of those who experience a moment of transcendence (other words I've used in the April 2009 experience such as nirvana, synchronicity, epiphany, spirit possession by others, etc) where all wrongs are righted, where dualism ended, where Jesus, the Buddha live daily, above the sin and filth of earthly existence, those who come down from the experience and are not rightly guided afterwards do stumble, trying to figure out the meanings, incorrectly translating the symbols. Describing what happened hasn't been hard. I wrote down everything I said and understood, but as it has happened, and as Campbell noted, what is said and heard isn't for this world. Try explaining coincidences when they later dissolve into dreams and imaginations. Four years later the objective is to assimilate and learn without dwelling on what happened. The Buddha lived for another sixty years or so after he experienced Enlightenment. Well he knew for sure what he experienced.
With a final week left before summer turns to fall I am in the old lands, Seneca Nation, and it will be cold and dark I will be working with people who have really big issues to deal with, issues much greater than mine. Again and again I am grateful for the Catholic Worker house. But this shift to living here, to working with and for the poor, at my age, it hurts, and frankly I'm fearful if this is disbelief. I believe all will be ok. If something terrible happens it'll be to the Florida Keys, where the homeless must surely struggle in a most beautiful place.
So having said that, how can I assimilate what I experienced? How can I share what was good and true? Telling the poor about coincidences isn't going to help anyone. Telling the poor about the spirit world isn't going to help anyone. Telling the poor that their miseries and suffering aren't going to end anytime soon because two days to the Lord is like a thousand years and if God decides to bring all believers home in a week, well, what hope is there in an end of suffering in this lifetime? I don't know how to share what I learned and what I experienced because nothing I saw and imagined has come true in this reality and that is discouraging. And yet I cannot not believe what I saw and happened. Only in time, a long bending curve away from the events will help. And o dear Lord, distract me greatly, won't you? From the events that turned me inside out.
After some reluctance I decided to buy a copy of "Shantaram" (which means a man at peace with God in the Marathi language). I'm not sure if a story about an armed robber who escapes prison in Australia and winds up in the slums of Mumbai is exactly contemplative reading but his story captivates, no pun intended, and it had(s) me reflecting on a lot of things.
But before I started this 900 page textbook I finished "The Power of Myth" and I'll need to read it again because it is as well scary good and it has challenged me to consider what happened to me four years ago and how to deal with its aftermath, the downward spiral to salvation, as Dorothy Day said it, or the downward spiral to reconciling before hitting bottom, as I look at it. Campbell says of those who experience a moment of transcendence (other words I've used in the April 2009 experience such as nirvana, synchronicity, epiphany, spirit possession by others, etc) where all wrongs are righted, where dualism ended, where Jesus, the Buddha live daily, above the sin and filth of earthly existence, those who come down from the experience and are not rightly guided afterwards do stumble, trying to figure out the meanings, incorrectly translating the symbols. Describing what happened hasn't been hard. I wrote down everything I said and understood, but as it has happened, and as Campbell noted, what is said and heard isn't for this world. Try explaining coincidences when they later dissolve into dreams and imaginations. Four years later the objective is to assimilate and learn without dwelling on what happened. The Buddha lived for another sixty years or so after he experienced Enlightenment. Well he knew for sure what he experienced.
With a final week left before summer turns to fall I am in the old lands, Seneca Nation, and it will be cold and dark I will be working with people who have really big issues to deal with, issues much greater than mine. Again and again I am grateful for the Catholic Worker house. But this shift to living here, to working with and for the poor, at my age, it hurts, and frankly I'm fearful if this is disbelief. I believe all will be ok. If something terrible happens it'll be to the Florida Keys, where the homeless must surely struggle in a most beautiful place.
So having said that, how can I assimilate what I experienced? How can I share what was good and true? Telling the poor about coincidences isn't going to help anyone. Telling the poor about the spirit world isn't going to help anyone. Telling the poor that their miseries and suffering aren't going to end anytime soon because two days to the Lord is like a thousand years and if God decides to bring all believers home in a week, well, what hope is there in an end of suffering in this lifetime? I don't know how to share what I learned and what I experienced because nothing I saw and imagined has come true in this reality and that is discouraging. And yet I cannot not believe what I saw and happened. Only in time, a long bending curve away from the events will help. And o dear Lord, distract me greatly, won't you? From the events that turned me inside out.
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