A man walks up to the coffee urn, he's holding a thermos half-full containing a dark, thick oily liquid. "Can I fill this up?" Whaddya got in that now? "Ah, it's coffee, about a week old, I just wanna heat it up." I told him to dump it and re-fill his thermos with fresh coffee. He went to the toilet emptied it and refilled his container with fresh coffee. "Brother thank you so much, thank you for being here, God bless you," and he got teary eyed and off he went. Is this why I am here? A simple act of mercy, a word of advice, was this my reward in full? And is it enough amidst the outbursts of anger and shouting that fills the air to be there for someone who only needs a fresh thermos of coffee?
"You have any creamer?" no, we've been out for a few weeks now. His voice rises. " Ya'll got creamer, ya'll got money, why are you depriving us of creamer, ya'll got money." Why even attempt to reason with someone who becomes angry over something that is out of my hands?
We put two boxes containing 70 cartons of 4oz orange juices, stale bagels, a box of clementine oranges that I weeded of moldy ones, and an assortment of donuts and muffins. I turned on the television at 10am, adding another level of discord, and within an hour all the food is gone.
Mario comes once a week for a shower. He's young, wears a Yankees hat over a mop of ratty hair, has thick glasses and lives in the forest. When he shows up he asks for new clothes. After he showers we throw his soiled jeans and t-shirt away. He says his father is Cuba, a regular guest who will tell you he has worked for the CIA, NSA, and participated in the Bay of Pigs. I asked him once about Castro and he mumbled in Spanish and another dialect produced after years of using heroin. He rides a bike everywhere, his dreadlocks are mostly stuffed in a tall pie hat and I've never seen Mario and Cuba in the same room.
Is the anger and the shouting an indication of fear? Do they understand, at least to me, the louder they are the less I listen? Tom has encouraged me to go to some 12-step meetings so I can learn what addicts are challenged with when they're returning to sobriety. "Tom I'll go on one condition, I want to be a heroin user for one month, I'll never know and I'll never be able to understand where they've been and how hard it is go straight unless I take that path."
He says a worker shouldn't be addicted to anything.
I'm sitting at the window on the third floor reading "The Way of a Pilgrim" and a man pulls up to the door below with a bag of vegetables. I run down to meet him because the lunch finished and the house is quiet. Mike is 65 years old, wears a Tigers t-shirt and a white hat with a green clover insignia. He is donating tomatoes and herbs from his garden, I ask if he is a Tigers fan and for the next 15 minutes gives me a history of Detroit's 1968 World Series victory, thanking God with the sign of the cross every time he mentions Earl Wilson and Mickey Lolich.
Violence. I hate seeing it here, I hate hearing it here. Even hours after a man slams the door and screams at everyone around to shut up, my nerves feel shot. Are the poor and the homeless and the mentally ill afraid of silence? Do their demons leave them in fear? How can you keep control when spirits of darkness rage inside?
Spirit you don't like what you see, then get me out of here. The virtues of silence. Being taken to school. Dealing with irrational behavior is forcing me to see who I am. Acting in the spirit of grace and mercy I have to be the one who doesn't waver. Dorothy Day lived with men and women who screamed at her and at one time took a six month break from the Catholic Worker house. It becomes too much. How did she do it? She went to church alot. She had to get out and breathe clean air.
Events in the world have my spirit thinking the end of the world may actually happen and it takes all my energy to suppress such absurd foolishness. If this spirit is this 2700 year old shaman, why doesn't he just go somewhere else and leave me at peace? I'd rather not think about the 'blessed hope' if it isn't going to happen in my lifetime. He brings anxiety and hope that isn't there. Lord have mercy.
"You have any creamer?" no, we've been out for a few weeks now. His voice rises. " Ya'll got creamer, ya'll got money, why are you depriving us of creamer, ya'll got money." Why even attempt to reason with someone who becomes angry over something that is out of my hands?
We put two boxes containing 70 cartons of 4oz orange juices, stale bagels, a box of clementine oranges that I weeded of moldy ones, and an assortment of donuts and muffins. I turned on the television at 10am, adding another level of discord, and within an hour all the food is gone.
Mario comes once a week for a shower. He's young, wears a Yankees hat over a mop of ratty hair, has thick glasses and lives in the forest. When he shows up he asks for new clothes. After he showers we throw his soiled jeans and t-shirt away. He says his father is Cuba, a regular guest who will tell you he has worked for the CIA, NSA, and participated in the Bay of Pigs. I asked him once about Castro and he mumbled in Spanish and another dialect produced after years of using heroin. He rides a bike everywhere, his dreadlocks are mostly stuffed in a tall pie hat and I've never seen Mario and Cuba in the same room.
Is the anger and the shouting an indication of fear? Do they understand, at least to me, the louder they are the less I listen? Tom has encouraged me to go to some 12-step meetings so I can learn what addicts are challenged with when they're returning to sobriety. "Tom I'll go on one condition, I want to be a heroin user for one month, I'll never know and I'll never be able to understand where they've been and how hard it is go straight unless I take that path."
He says a worker shouldn't be addicted to anything.
I'm sitting at the window on the third floor reading "The Way of a Pilgrim" and a man pulls up to the door below with a bag of vegetables. I run down to meet him because the lunch finished and the house is quiet. Mike is 65 years old, wears a Tigers t-shirt and a white hat with a green clover insignia. He is donating tomatoes and herbs from his garden, I ask if he is a Tigers fan and for the next 15 minutes gives me a history of Detroit's 1968 World Series victory, thanking God with the sign of the cross every time he mentions Earl Wilson and Mickey Lolich.
Violence. I hate seeing it here, I hate hearing it here. Even hours after a man slams the door and screams at everyone around to shut up, my nerves feel shot. Are the poor and the homeless and the mentally ill afraid of silence? Do their demons leave them in fear? How can you keep control when spirits of darkness rage inside?
Spirit you don't like what you see, then get me out of here. The virtues of silence. Being taken to school. Dealing with irrational behavior is forcing me to see who I am. Acting in the spirit of grace and mercy I have to be the one who doesn't waver. Dorothy Day lived with men and women who screamed at her and at one time took a six month break from the Catholic Worker house. It becomes too much. How did she do it? She went to church alot. She had to get out and breathe clean air.
Events in the world have my spirit thinking the end of the world may actually happen and it takes all my energy to suppress such absurd foolishness. If this spirit is this 2700 year old shaman, why doesn't he just go somewhere else and leave me at peace? I'd rather not think about the 'blessed hope' if it isn't going to happen in my lifetime. He brings anxiety and hope that isn't there. Lord have mercy.
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