I don't believe in fate because I am in control of my life. Even if shit happens and there's nothing you can do about it? Well, in that case, I do believe in fate. You'd agree then we control what we know and what we don't know is chance, a conjured anomaly, an unseen idea that is or isn't something you'd bow your knee in front of. Everything happens for a reason, I'm sure of that, but sometimes we don't know the reason until it has past. In other words what happens in the present is a mix of chance and determined actions and the very second an action is in the past it's very easy to assess that it happened for a reason and that reason is not chance because it happened and it can't be changed.
There are those who tell me everything I do and say before I've done or said it has already been determined. There's nothing new under the sun. Linear time, there is no past or present or future, is this what you're getting at? If only I could escape my matrix.
The students are taking their second major quiz today and the thunder rumbles. This is too difficult, many didn't finish in two hours, ya da ya da. I cancelled tomorrow's meeting in part to give teachers a break and also to deflect any criticism that'll come my way. The class I proctored didn't know the difference between possession and contraction. Does this mean the teacher didn't cover it in class or the teacher did but they forgot?
No call yet from the car agency though I know it will come. It's bloody hot every afternoon. I walk 20 minutes to reach a main road to flag a taxi down and I've got an emerging headache, no matter how much water one drinks, hot is hot.
Four more weeks of teaching. This hasn't been a quick academic year, perhaps it would have been faster if I enjoyed my life a little more. A solitary life is not a party of one. I don't do fun things alone because having fun is a shared experience and it feels selfish, like tobogganing solo in Switzerland. Who do I high five or talk about the fun if there's only myself?
Two nights ago I woke up unable to sleep and the next day I made some absurd typos on exam labels. I didn't tell the secretaries of my poor sleep that night. How strange it is to me that I didn't see what I would have normally seen if I didn't have a good sleep. Are you suggesting you would have read your speedometer correctly if you had had a decent night's sleep?
Right now I'm woozy, a cup of tea perhaps, a smoke outside in the 98 degree shade? Still no sure plans for the summer. It would not be good if I were on a remote beach off the northeast coast of Sri Lanka and this broken tooth which is getting smaller was suddenly infected. And I can't afford to see a dentist in the states.
There are those who tell me everything I do and say before I've done or said it has already been determined. There's nothing new under the sun. Linear time, there is no past or present or future, is this what you're getting at? If only I could escape my matrix.
The students are taking their second major quiz today and the thunder rumbles. This is too difficult, many didn't finish in two hours, ya da ya da. I cancelled tomorrow's meeting in part to give teachers a break and also to deflect any criticism that'll come my way. The class I proctored didn't know the difference between possession and contraction. Does this mean the teacher didn't cover it in class or the teacher did but they forgot?
No call yet from the car agency though I know it will come. It's bloody hot every afternoon. I walk 20 minutes to reach a main road to flag a taxi down and I've got an emerging headache, no matter how much water one drinks, hot is hot.
Four more weeks of teaching. This hasn't been a quick academic year, perhaps it would have been faster if I enjoyed my life a little more. A solitary life is not a party of one. I don't do fun things alone because having fun is a shared experience and it feels selfish, like tobogganing solo in Switzerland. Who do I high five or talk about the fun if there's only myself?
Two nights ago I woke up unable to sleep and the next day I made some absurd typos on exam labels. I didn't tell the secretaries of my poor sleep that night. How strange it is to me that I didn't see what I would have normally seen if I didn't have a good sleep. Are you suggesting you would have read your speedometer correctly if you had had a decent night's sleep?
Right now I'm woozy, a cup of tea perhaps, a smoke outside in the 98 degree shade? Still no sure plans for the summer. It would not be good if I were on a remote beach off the northeast coast of Sri Lanka and this broken tooth which is getting smaller was suddenly infected. And I can't afford to see a dentist in the states.
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