Thursday, June 5, 2014

bumming beach

Why has it been so hard to decide what to do this summer?  Forty eight days and I'll be free from absurdities that contribute to my indigestion. In the meantime third world frugalities impede my decision making. How did I ever come to this?


I scour the globe for a beach to crash but I know I can't stay more than a week at a beach for it bores.  Ok, I swim in the morning, swim in the afternoon, read before during and after, at sunset I walk on the beach and at 7pm I meander the streets.  What was once exciting is boring, what was once an opportunity to enjoy has become mundane.  And yet, the beach still lures.  What would make a stay at the beach better? 


It's about the absence of desire.  It's gone.  Where did it go?  Noble truths explain disappointment  produced when desire is selfish, and meditating to empty myself of desire is good, to consider others before I consider myself is good, but holy shiva cow, when the desire to do anything for myself leaves me with nothing, I should be happy, right? It shouldn't leave me in a state of indecisiveness, right?  I am up, I am down.  It is better to be in the middle, the path is even and there is no desire nor misery.


The innocently blundering students took their third and final quiz yesterday and it was traumatic.  A listening part which demoralized, a writing part that made them all look as if they hadn't studied for 14 weeks.  It gives me heartburn to think about a sorrowful next week. 


So any plans for the weekend?  Are you serious?  I started "The Luminaries" and I hope it picks up.  The characters are vivid, that must be a good sign of writing, right?  when you can visualize and escape to another world.  I didn't know it was going to be a murder mystery. 


Last week I priced laptops and while all the pc's have this windows 8 operating system I'm told to avoid, I lean again to Mac.  A one year old 11-inch is a thousand clams, plus a hundred clammers for ms office.  The nice lady at the Hilton gave me a voucher for an upgrade when I told her I was considering a return at the end of the month and if I go back it'll be for Mac, another night in Al-Ain and maybe I'll have decided where I'm going to go on 10 July, a Thursday. 


So, where should I go if I have no desire?  What would be a more practical place to go, a place I don't desire, a place where there is contentment and peace, don't you desire that, you bozo?  I desire to be separated by an obnoxious conscience. 

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