Ba-kumba

An idea without a plan was enough and when I saw the plan in hindsight I knew we did good. 

2 May.  A 25kg sack of rice will feed a family of five for two weeks.  Considering what else you eat with that rice it could last longer, but here, rice rules.  The leaders of Sarangkot write ‘Sarangkot Tourism Development Committee’ on the bags of rice and lentils. 

50 bags x 25kg each of rice

100 bags x 1kg each of lentils

50kg of sugar

50 liters of vegetable oil

10kg of tea

50kg of salt

Six cases of noodles and a lot of chili powder.

Earlier in the day I purchased $100 worth of goods, some of the items were mocked by the men.  Dried mushrooms?  They won’t know what to do with them.  Do you eat them I ask?  No.  Well, who does?  I bought a lot of baby wipes (think hygiene) apricots, raisins, pistachios, flashlights, shampoo and soap.  When we filled the truck we drove to the Pokhara airport and the military informed us these goods would go to the worst hit areas in Gorkha. 

A number of men, myself included, want to trust the military is doing the right thing, but we concluded the best way to reach the people is to deliver goods ourselves. 

The day before Laxman and I went to the airport with a dozen bags I bought and brought to Nepal from Oman.  I don’t have a specific list of what I threw in the basket at Lulus but there was over the counter medicine, dried goods, candles, batteries and so forth.  When we left the airport we knew we could purchase food with the $555 in received donations through the STDC facebook page, and I wrote on the page as long as there are helicopters taking goods we could deliver.

And then there was a wedding to arrange.

3 May  Marijuana is the greatest preventative medicine ever. 

The most powerful connection between life and death is the cremation.  Men, women, the attendants who prepared the body of a 62 year old man, showed so much respect and compassion before they lit the wood and within 30 minutes there was consumption with fire.  The West should do this.  We ought to not be afraid of death, we are only a breath away from the woodpile and when it is time it would be very assuring if people who know me would care for my carcass the way it’s done here.

Establishing trust requires borrowing from someone and not expecting it to return.  What’s the longest debt you’ve waited for, I asked Shiva, a member of the STDC, owner of a shop and father of three.  ’15 years.’  You just give up waiting. Do you ever go after them?  No, never. 

The earthquake put Nepal back 200 years.

The children return to school, Suraksha is eager, the other children of the village want to return.  Tika’s father sits in the garden with three men I have never met.  Within months the neighbors below and in front of the Superview will have erected the final level of their new guesthouse and this will completely block the view of Pokhara.  I’ve said my piece on this unfortunate future but to see the father of Tika sit here and be completely unfazed that Laxman and Maya’s business will suffer greatly, I wish I could like this man who never smiles nor says hello and now he oversees and advises and thinks little of how putting a wall at some places two feet away, leaving the family nothing to look at except a wall, is wrong.  It’s wrong to not care.  And this man doesn’t care, nor does his son and his wife.  It is a shameful development.  In this culture in the family decisions are made.  There is no legal course to take. 

4 May  It is a full moon today and the Buddha’s birthday, no coincidence.  The sun will rise above the Himalayas in a few moments.  I sit in my chair in room one.  No clouds, no rain on this cool dry morning.  Down in Pokhara it’s ten degrees warmer.  There it is, a diamond is its first light.

Mental illness, I’m grateful for having spent three months with those most seriously affected in Rochester.  Today I spoke with the American fella who built the most expensive building in Sarangkot and seven years later it remains empty.  I visited him with some of the locals and we weren’t permitted inside.  We sat on the terrace, the hot sun beat down on us unmercifully, and the man who I once knew 22 years ago is ranting incoherently.  Enough said, God bless you, Dan, when your woodpile calls you’ll leave the most beautiful building in the village.  Thanks.

Does the military want volunteers to go in?  The big NGO fellas are equipped to do this.  Who can manage and distribute the donated supplies, the military doesn’t want the responsibility.  A few in the village want to take supplies themselves and deliver personally, I am for that, how do we do that?  Motorcycles?  How much can we put in backpacks?  How many around here want to go to the epicenter on motorbikes to deliver, what is necessary and that is also small?

5 May  Barpak is considered the center of the earthquake.  We watched the news and video via helicopter showed an entire flattening.  How are we gonna get there I asked Laxman who was overworked with wedding preparations.  I bought a half dozen mosquito nets.   Shiva said it was impossible to get to Gorkha, but we have to try, brother. 

We are where we ought to be.

Rescue workers found the man sitting upright five days later.  I moved to room six when the men working on Tika’s new cursed guesthouse (I curse it all the time) could look right through the window of room one. 

The building supervisor is 38 years old and has three wives.  Two of his wives work along with him, carrying stone and cement.  

I was offered a new job today  At the end of my present and beginning of my new there will be ten days.  The new employer asked from what city would I be flying from to Kabul.  I had to think fast, what is the cleanest city in the world?  Well, I didn’t google that question I thought….Scandinavia is clean, right?  I don’t know to this day why I told him Copenhagen. 

7 May  I woke up at two in the morning and spoke with a few who also woke up at this time, thinking it was time to get up.  The moonlight fooled us.

After this wedding it will be time to prep for a delivery to Gorkha.  I understand when I came to Nepal I’d be leaning on the people of Sarangkot to help me help their own people, and I knew everyone has a business to run, a family to raise, and life continues, cremations to attend, weddings to attend, I feel bad that I can’t do more, I have to slow down and flow with the locals. 

7:30pm—A ten hour wedding.  Church weddings are only an hour and followed by a reception, which lasts, I don’t know, I can’t remember the last western wedding I’ve attended.  “Will you come to my wedding, big brother?”  Sure, I told the 20 year old beauty, ‘give me three days notice.’  I was joking but whatever, I am the pagal boudhamanche, the crazy old man. 

Yes, I flew into Kathmandu five days after the 7.8 quake, we circled for 90 minutes before we landed, thank God we landed otherwise we would have gone to Kolkata, and then I went to the domestic terminal and waited four hours before I flew to Pokhara.  The Sarangkot family were all at the pre-engagement party for Shanta, the bride, who on the day of her wedding, was carried out by her brother on his back and put in the car to sleep until she was expected to consummate this arrangement.  I am a little surprised to see the Superview was getting seven more rooms, I was asked to help but in the end I had to refuse.  Building more rooms because one is jealous of the man who is building right next door is not my idea.  I cannot afford to live your dreams.  Your ambitions are not my ambitions. 

And I had to remind those who asked, I am not here on holiday, I took an unpaid leave of absence. 

I am told I am a gentleman if for some reason I am not married.  Ok, I guess.  I took her hand and helped her to the next step and we sat and she was happy, playful, not to be construed as flirting, but free from the fear of being anything other than herself.  I told Maya I liked her because she is the first woman who isn’t afraid of me.

After spending the donated money on supplies that were sent to Gorkha via helicopter, we had a little under $400 remaining.  I have been reluctant to add my own contributions to public record but in each instance I gave enough to cover what we needed. 

9 May  On the road to Gorkha.  Finding a vehicle requires talking to a lot of people.  We scrapped the motorcycle idea and Laxman, Moti and I drove to the capital city of Gorkha where we purchased supplies and rented a tractor, a Tractor, said Moti, is the worst way to travel and he was right.  I was thrown around, bounced and kicked and punched, there was no shanti, no peace, no comfort, kidney punches, head punches, the road was that bad.  We headed towards a village one of the laborers in Sarangkot said was completely destroyed.  His village.  He is called Gurung because he is Gurung though that is not his real name.  He heard what we were planning to do and came to us and said his village was hit hard. 

Our idea became a plan, all things worked out because we were doing the right thing, and Gurung was our link. 

Before we reached our destination we were stopped by drunken teenagers who wanted to take our supplies.  Everyone kept their heads and we gave the leader of the gang a few provisions.  Our objective was to reach the village of Ghyachok and help the 32 families there and eventually we did, the provisions were carried down about 30 minutes away and stored in a room where the next day they would be distributed amongst the peoples. 

10 May  In a tent on a terrace I woke up from a rather good sleep.  Last night we met Gurung’s family, I lost count, maybe a dozen young and old, they fed us, we in return gave them peanut butter cookies, a case of chewing gum, and Laxman gave them one can of salmon, which we ate for breakfast.  We drank roxi, the fermented beverage made from millet or wheat and smoked the local organic crop.  The family, I noted from sitting in the makeshift quarters, had salvaged most of their clothes and blankets.  They lost stored grains and our supplies were to help them there.  Their living accommodations were mostly made from materials they already owned, tarps and rattan walls. They had plenty of rope and firewood but who knows how it’ll be when the monsoon comes and pounds out 400mm of rain on them.  It will not be easy at all.

Across the valley in the morning haze is Barpak.  I am told it is only 1km away though I can hardly make it out.  It takes five hours! to walk there, and we’re only a kilometer away? 

I asked the father, the leader of the family we stayed with how long, if he could recall, the first and second earthquake lasted.  “I remember the two and they didn’t stop for two days.”  Two days of earth shaking under your feet.  Shit.  Double shit.

Laxman handed out orange drink mix packets to everyone and Moti handed out the gum.  I gave cigarettes to men who were greatly appreciative. 

I didn’t know the tractor ride was one way.  We were going to walk down to the village of Balwa and take a bus back to the capital city.  Before we left, we took photos and we offered the people our hopes and wishes and prayers and we then came to a tent where a ceremony took place, a puja, I believe, for us.  Men and women sat and clapped and sang a slow dirge, in front of them two young women danced slowly in a circle over a covered hole, their eyes closed.  We were given flower leis and a tika and were finally sent off.

On the way down we passed the flattened village.  The one power line was cut off.  Another tent had been raised and with the lone line, men had figured out how to recharge everyone’s mobiles, which is the only electronic device up here.  We proceeded down the mountain and walked through one destroyed village after another.  There are no roads to these places, only by foot will supplies reach these unfortunate souls.  And when will that be?  The remoteness, the inaccessibility, it boggles the mind. 

I am told it takes a local thirty minutes to reach Balwa.  It took us, me, three hours.  We waited for the bus and I climbed on top and off we went dodging low power lines, rain fell, that was nice, when the bus leaned right or left I had it all worked out, if the bus leaned to my left I would simply jump far enough so when the bus crashed on its side it would miss me.  If the bus leaned to my right I would simply have to keep my feet and like a log roll I’d…thank God nothing happened. 

The village women were most excited to see the new pots and pans.  They all murmured which ones were the best and I wonder how it was decided who’d get what. 

11 May  Brilliant bolts of lightning slash and boom this afternoon.  My favorite time of year on the mountain when nature unleashes electric yellow zingers close and up front.  A sizzle, a snap, nickel size hail bounce off the room six door.  SHIT!  a vertically straight bolt and blast knocks me off the sofa.  Wait, kids are coming home from school in this, oh dear Lord, protect the children.

What kind of plan is it that you only understand in hindsight? 

12 May  I took out 10,000 rupees ($100) from the ATM in Pokhara and then put the card in again to take out another 10,000, the maximum amount when I got a message “sorry we cannot complete this transaction because of insufficient funds.  Please try again later.”  What?  I had plenty of money, what is it, so I walked out of the small ATM hall across from the bank in Lakeside when I saw people running past me, I thought it was an accident and then more people ran so I did too, to the street and there everyone was running to the street.  A tremor.  I stood with everyone and then it hit, a three second one, every cutlery, glass, dish, in the buildings in front and behind me shook, the buildings shook and then it was done.  Surreal.  I waited five minutes, should I go back to the ATM and finish taking out money.  I’ll wait a few more minutes.  When I returned to the ATM it was working and I finished my withdrawals.

I cannot prove what I will say here but I believe without doubt that my spirit knew what was going to happen, and being a spirit, an entity, made of energy, he caused the ATM to temporarily malfunction and I left the building just as the tremor occurred.  I figure from this event my spirit knew at least five seconds in advance what was going to happen and he led me to safety.

13 May  The bus to Kathmandu was uneventful, thanks be to God.  Once we entered the Kathmandu valley the destruction was evident.  Thamel was completely empty.  The Tibet Guest House let its staff go so I checked in next door at the Sunrise Guest House where the owners nervously accepted me and put me in the same room I’ve stayed in twice before.  Everyone slept outside except me.

A woman in Oman sent a large shipment of supplies to Maiti Nepal after I told her I couldn’t pick it up at the airport.  Maiti Nepal is an NGO whose specific job is to stop child trafficking.  I visited their offices when I arrived in the city and the founder of Maiti and her assistant informed me they didn’t need any volunteers.  I planned to stay in Kathmandu for seven days hoping I could hook up with this organization.  No. 

The place is a ghost town.  I see a lot of buildings leaning into each other.  All schools closed again for two weeks after yesterday’s significant tremor.  There is no way we’re gonna have a large group of children together right now.  Agreed.  I spoke with a manager of the Tibet Guest House, where the restaurant serves up healthy meals.  No cooks?  No tea?  No eggs?  I volunteer to be a cook.  I can cook eggs, let me help.  Well, what good would that be if there are no guests?  Well, I can eat the eggs.

14 May  Children sleep in the garden for another night.  I walked to Durbar Square.  A nightmare it is, was.  I decided to pay a visit to the Catholic church, hoping they’d have some need I could help with.  Affiliated with the church is an NGO Charitas Nepal.  I told them I wanted to help and would be in town for five more nights.  We’ll call you, they said.  I am bummed, what the hell am I going to do, I have to be creative if the NGOs don’t want volunteers with only a few days to offer.

The largest tent camps are military controlled.  I got all this chewing gum what the hell.  I walked around the city and found smaller encampments and distributed gum and money.

Inside the New Orleans Café, where I would have dinner three nights in a row, eight American men with matching Rotary Club golf shirts sit 100 feet in front of me.  They could be a bowling team, why do all Americans look alike, regardless of their skin shade, is it their heads, they all look big, they all have the same haircuts and they’re all about my age minus six or seven years. 

15 May  Why doesn’t God just settle this?  J. Stewart.  Rezla and the host talk of things I’ve already talked about and what’s different between Rezla and me?  Please.

I went to the Tibet Guest House for breakfast when the manager said one of the cooks had returned.  I ordered an omelet and toast and tea.  The tea came and I drank it.  Then a group of 12 Nepalese military donning orange came into the restaurant and the staff came out with a small buffet and forty minutes later I’m thinking, they forgot my order.  I asked for a coffee and asked about my omelet and toast.  Oh sorry.  Another 25 minutes and I got up to pay for my tea and coffee.  Oh so sorry, bakumba, you know?  Bakumba, earthquake.  Ya, I’ve started to hear this a lot. An earthquake caused you to forget my omelet?

The Malla Hotel.  I am the only guest here.  The manager said the upper floors were closed for repairs so I was put in a ground floor room with an extraordinary view of the garden.  The reason I’ve stayed here four times below.  ‘If bakumba just climb out the window.’  That’s easy to do.

The garden is a place to decompress and decompose.  Room 107 will be a sanctuary for two days.

The pillars in the ground floor all show cracks.  I read this is a dangerous thing, so why didn’t I move out?  The peacock was calling.  The flowers were reassuring.  There is also a pool here but it was empty.  They also have a professional masseuse but the spa is closed.  So, why stay?  Look at the sheets, they are immaculately clean.  And the carpeting.  I forgot what it is like to walk on carpeting.

If there ever was a place for NGOs this is it.  Nature doesn’t cooperate here.  Build a road I will cause a landslide, not one but two. 

In the Cathedral of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary there is a painting of the Christmas scene and behind them a mandala. 

16 May  I love this old place but really, there are no meals being served and there is no hot water.  Oh, breakfast will be available.  You want to know what time I want breakfast and it has to be after seven am?  The garden is as a good garden should be, a respite, a place to contemplate the quiet.   

I have the address to the Missionaries of Charity, o Lord, it’s an orphanage.  I can’t go there.

To my right at the cafe, a group of Thai volunteers with nicely made t-shirts with Nepal Earthquake 2015 on their backs, what is this, you had time to print shirts, why, so no one would mistake you for tourists?  What is this need to identify to everyone that you’re a volunteer?  It just seems pretentious. 

17 May  I moved into the Dalai-La Hotel.  Hot water, wi-fi and breakfast included is good.  There was no wifi at the Malla.  Some rescue team is here, six of them sit in the courtyard with their computers, all of them wear yellow vests with ‘rescue’ written on the back.  Who are you rescuing with a laptop?

18 May   I woke up late to see the sunrise from the Swayambhouda Temple so I walked, took a rickshaw and finally walked again to the top to view the remains.  Six years ago the presence of the spirit was strong here and a Tibetan monk looked at me and smiled and nodded.  He knew!  How did he know?  Today, it was depressing but the singing continued, the praying continued.  I spun the wheels four times around and slapped the dorje for good luck.  When I left the temple area I was surrounded by children who got gum and then by mothers with little sickly kids so they got money and that went on a long time.  If you can’t find a ministry to take you, start your own.

If the plan is a good plan it will evolve. 

If you choose to understand the moment instead of the continuum you’ll be wrong.  Always.  Or you’ll have a good chance of being misunderstood until you wise up and see it all.  And for some that takes a lifetime.