freedom from fear

The US Embassy webpage lists two places that offer dental services: The American Medical Center doesn’t have a dentist at the moment and the German Diagnostics Clinic said there was an opening on August 9 so I walked to the main road and visited the Fahmi Dental Clinic.  There a young man, not much older than 25, looked at the broken tooth and said he could give me a filling in three days (why not now?) and ten days later a crown.  I told him I’d probably be headed to Kandahar by then but if he could do the filling, then let’s do it.  I had hoped he could have smoothed the sharp edge of the base of the tooth that is carving my tongue up and making it quite discomforting to eat or drink anything.  That’s ok, I didn’t want to stay any longer in the dusty operating room, but I did leave half the balance of 1000 AFN, that’s $16. 

As I was leaving my cheap sunglasses broke so I walked up and down this street full of life, no sign of militants or hostile locals until I found another cheap pair even though they’re too small.  When the sun is out like today I need to have something to shade my eyes.

Today I’ll go to the campus with the last bus, 12:25pm, for lunch.  On my way back to the guesthouse I stopped at the Zoom Supermarket for bread and a couple of ramen noodles.  Last night Anna told me no one goes to restaurants during the summer months because it’s too dangerous.  It left me wondering if social unrest is always during the hot days.  I should really get a job next time in Finland.

I registered with the Embassies STEP program to let them know I am here and this morning I got one of them general email warnings of the continued dangers they suspect puts all of us on high alert.  They listed foreign guesthouses as targets.  This morning there were four soldiers in front sitting in the shade, rifles always ready.  I feel safe but I enjoyed walking out in the open.  I believe demonstrating a certain amount of freedom like walking in the neighborhood instills confidence and to an extent a determination for a life free from fear.  How much happier will everyone be when people don't have to be told to believe at the end of a gun.

6.01pm

A calm coolish evening on the terrace, the geese in the yard below squawk, the mountains in the east are bare half way up, below midway are homes.  It is impossible to see power lines during the day but everyone has their porch light on.

The university has a day off tomorrow.  Only in the last three months I’m told have teachers been working six day weeks and they’re not too happy about it.  The director who initiated this directive is also leaving for a government job so all are hoping to return to a five day work week.  I have no idea what my schedule will be like.  All I can remember in my interview was the man saying, ‘it’s hard’ and I assume that was a general consensus, the job is hard, living there is hard, ya da ya da.  Right, with no native English speakers in the city, no beer, no one to show me around because security is wanker that and wanker this, I will need, I must need, something to keep the mind sharp.  Meditation, yeah ok, that helps, but I think something physical will be necessary.  Oh please may there be a gym.

 So, tomorrow’s an off day which basically means I don’t have to go in which means I have to come up with a plan to eat lunch somewhere.  Gee, I hope someone is around.  What the hell am I going to do all day?   

The government is still in peace talks with the Taliban.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was peace in the country?  From 1933 to 1973 there was peace.  Is this too much to ask for?  Of course peace with the Taliban doesn’t mean independent militias will lay down their rusty Russian rifles.  But it’ll be a start.  And of course peace means the freedom to travel and see this virtually unexplored nation.  Of course I may be so busy I won’t have time to see anything.  Am I here only for the money?  Am I here only for some delayed gratification?  A chance to prepare for my eventual retirement?  I would like to think that far ahead.  

Really.  In the meantime I have books.