where's my helicopter?

12.16.14        

A national tragedy, yet again, in Pakistan.  Is it another example of Islam’s violent interpretation intertwined with tribal warfare?  Well, look at it in a historical context and accept that this is nothing new, but now we know about it in vivid Technicolor.  And it is depressing.  And it again makes me wonder if the greater Islamic body of faith will ever stand up and not only condemn, I think they do that a lot, but actually go after the ones who desecrate, the ones who call themselves by the same name.  This is Islam’s greatest tragedy in the era of social media.

And then there was today’s academic tragedy.  Actually it’s more folly than tragedy.

Prior to giving the midterm exam I created a simple feedback form for the teachers to record the distribution of student scores from a range of 90-100, 80-90, and so forth. Teachers were also asked to tabulate averages for each of the four skills we tested the students.

 I wrote two versions of the exam and the averages in each of the skills would demonstrate the reliability of the two, revealing if they were equally fair.  Fair enough.  The two coordinator colleagues followed suit but one coordinator asked his teachers to also include how many passed and failed in each of the skills.  While this should be considered helpful, the results from my 237 students and my colleagues 215 students showed basically the same results. 

For example, in the reading component of version A, students scored an average of 58%, in version B, the students scored an average of 52%.  I considered this a significant difference.  My colleague produced similar results but also showed how many passed in the reading skill and how many failed.   It is an interesting statistic and reveals more details though it might be considered unnecessary to state who failed and who passed a particular skill. The end game is the total of all the skills. 

So! when I submitted my results to the director he asked me to include this additional statistic, a task I was asked to ask my teachers to collect and I refused.  I replied that to ask for another statistic from my teachers was unreasonable considering it was I who initiated the collection of data in the first place and the director’s request was unfair because it was extra work for the teachers that I didn’t ask them to do, and frankly isn’t necessary though that isn’t the point here.  I said I would tabulate the data from all the exams but on my own clock and suggested I’d turn this in sometime next year, like February. 

Nothing I do as a coordinator is in my contract and as a coordinator, which I enjoy doing, I am not compensated for the extra work.  Anywhere else coordinators are paid more, here I am not.  So, it is reasonable in my opinion to question an unreasonable request, perhaps though I shouldn’t have said I’d submit this unreasonable task in six to eight weeks, still it’s a task that may take me more than six to seven hours to accomplish.  Nevertheless, the director pissed me off.  I get along with the man most of the time but sometimes stress gets to him and he gets nutty.

So, I wait for his reply to my subordinate response.  I imagine the worse, losing my job, which is unlikely, or being replaced, which to be honest, would be fine.  Still I don’t like the conflict and no matter how right I am I wonder if I could have handled this in a more compassionate manner because I don’t look forward to his next email.

After I sent the email I watched three scenes from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty: when Walter imagines the woman he likes singing Major Tom in the Newk bar, giving him the push, the encouragement, to jump on the rising helicopter.  Every time I feel at a loss and wish for escape I desire inspiration.  Then when Walter begins his trek in the Himalayas, taking notes along the way he separates from his guides he writes, high on a peak, I am alone.  In the final scene when he sees himself on the last LIFE magazine cover, it's vindication, to be acknowledged even in anonymity, it reassures all the labor is not lost.  I felt somewhat better afterwards, but ya know, I just don’t want to be here anymore and I got six and a half months to go before I legally and I guess morally do the right thing and leave without burning bridges. 

Well, I have avoided conflict, thankfully, at this ridiculous job for a year and a half.  It takes all I can to do what is right while others manipulate the crap out of everything because our employers have absolutely no credibility.  I sit and watch teachers white out incorrect answers on student papers, other inflate grades, giving full marks on essays with no complete sentences, and there are no consequences.  The administration, I shouldn’t even use this word anymore, the numb-nuts with nicer offices, the nnwno, nn-wno’s, a new acronym for the day, count their money, consider their occupation a birthright, while we, those with a conscience, work honestly knowing at the end of the day Sari-Qi will pass because she pays our paltry salaries and fills pockets of shareholders from money dispensed blindly by its own government.  The only accountability left is that which we impose on our sensibilities.   

Where is my helicopter Lord?