broken teeth

I don’t have a lot of confidence right now about finding a job and my hope for finding love is nowhere.  Maya, god bless her, asked me to meet a young woman who wanted to marry and here she came with her mother and the old woman who has a shop at the top of the steps and the girl could hardly turn around at the table as we sat and drank tea.  Sure I must have looked like someone who hadn’t shaved in a fortnight, wrapped in all the blankets and shawls and hats I could muster.  I really don’t mind being told you gotta be kidding when I look like a bum. 

Seven days ago Laxman hired an orphan off the street to help Maya and for four days he worked hard and was very optimistic and everyone was impressed  with his energy and then three days ago Maya told the 13 year old boy to take containers and leave them at the water tap below.  He did and he never came back.  And! On his way back to Pokhara he pocketed Laxman’s Iphone4.s, what a little wanker.  We went down the mountain and looked for the thief, left numbers with anyone who might see him and returned to Sarangkot empty handed.  It’s a bummer ya know, you trust you’re doing the right thing, you trust someone you don’t know even if that person is a little kid and you turn around in bright sunshine and he’s gone with your goods. 

I really have made a mess of things in the job category, haven’t I?  This linked in site, what is this for, helping me find a job or share useless information.  The temps have been hovering above freezing for the past week.  This is as cold as it gets I am told by the locals, let’s hope so.  A real freeze will kill and break and there’s no need for that kind of loss up here, is there?

As for connecting with others, they know I am alive and they are busy with life.  Why did you post the 12.21.12 photos on another fb page I don’t know I guess if there was anyone who was interested in seeing what didn’t happen on that day could see the images but John, you contacted, what five relatives, people from the first college I went to a quarter of a century ago, and aside from two, God  bless, all have declined.  Hmmm, I’m not surprised at all. 

I broke two more teeth yesterday eating popcorn and the kernals, one on the upper right side and one on the upper left side.  At Christmas a silver filling popped out of another tooth and of course I had what was left of a tooth pulled in July.  My teeth are going to hell.  Will I follow?  Do I deserve to follow?  The unpardonable sin.  Who doesn’t utter it when you see hell on earth and not a #@$! Thing will be done.  God could clean everything up in a blink of an eye but chooses to let suffering continue.

I know, how can I say such things about God and expect to make it anywhere?  Well, what have I accomplished at this, the end of a four year mid life crisis?  I alienate a lot on-line don’t I, thankfully here on the mountain there are no falsehoods, there are no masks to hide behind, transparency is unavoidable isn’t it, in the flesh.  Eyes don’t lie.  And how am I with the family?  Well, Maya is still looking for a wife for me though she jokes maybe it is better I don’t marry, Suman and his arm in a cast for posterity wishes I’d stop smoking so we played kick ball with the yellow tennis ball size happy rubber ball on the terrace outside the rooms and the second time the ball went over into the jungle I spent an hour later pulling out sharp needles from my microtec fleece pullover, wool socks and a Peruvian llama tuke; Suraksha and I share a weakness for chocolate and I am down to my last chocolate, an almond joy, o the princess, will she see a bright future?  God help us.  And Laxman, bummer about the mobile, what to do.  If it is any consolation, it was a gift, right?