asleep in the garden

4.7.13

A heavy haze welcomes the six o five sun, mosquito fly bys deny me sleep throughout the night, the second day of no rain, temps in Pokhara pushing ninety, thankfully it’s cool above.

Yesterday’s breakfast may have been the busiest of the year.  After travelers in the rooms had eaten a group of twenty arrived for omelets, toast and milk tea.  I was invited to sit down at one table where men from Sierre Leone, Nigeria, Kenya, East Timor, India and Nepal spoke of treating leprosy under the ficus and banana trees.  Peter from Nairobi: “Can we say you are John the Baptist?”  You can call me anything but a baptist, my friend.  And then they were gone.  I have a hard time visualizing my departure here.  With seven weeks left there is still no direction. I know I can go rogue, hide in Himalayan layers, become the jungle man and eat tree bark.  I don’t think so.  Where, then, is your sense of urgency?  The aura of inevitability says where I’ll go if I don’t know by the end of this month.  How will I know?  I’ll have to book a ticket.  Ya.  A sense of urgency should do something to me.  Right, off this bed and out into the hot afternoon sun…in a minute.

4.8.13

What’s this I hear about you sleeping in Ram’s garden last night?

A very busy afternoon of lunches and all rooms are full.  A nice bonus considering the haze is as heavy as it was four years ago when Keith and I came here and there are no mountains to speak of like then, a disappointment for the elderly woman from Salzburg who walked six hours from Naudana with her husband and guide.  “All thees vay unt zare es nuttin to see.”  Ke garne, Gertrude, have a seat we’ll bring you tea.

The heavy haze dampens the noise, birds, a volleyball game far below, a door opens above and the two elderly ladies from New Zealand consider the day.  Upon arrival they checked into room five and ordered a large pot of masala tea.  Could you explain to me what Maori food is all about?  In room four yet another elderly woman checks in and no, they are not together, a bit odd you think? In room six a bald dude who used a lot of water in the shower, and in room one the Austrian’s guide and his buddy.  I hope you understand room seven is free to guides, not room one. 

I cleaned up the garden and walked up the other steps to the top, used one of the three toilets thank god for that and then walked to the helicopter pad with thirty minutes before sunrise and I could have gone to sleep on grass again, the air was still, Nyima and his family’s camp and the entire valley living life quietly, perhaps for many it’s a most contemplative quietness.  Is that even possible to do in the states now? 

I know my business with Nyima is finished.  I’ll need a puja when I’m 81?  And you’ll be 98?  Leaving him in the past will also require leaving the unanswered questions about the relationship between his medium and my friend who has failed miserably in my opinion, of…of…he knows. 

My spirit had left, Job filled in, and now who is with you?  Just your spirit alone?  I guess.  In three weeks I have to seriously consider booking a ticket to a place I don’t know yet, a place without a job or a home.  That’s not good.  Can my spirit alone save me from skid row, oh choose your faith, I forgot.  Jesus, dude, I’ve learned a lot about suffering from Buddha you know that, your suffering, immeasurable, the worst way to die no doubt, lasted how many days?  How many billions suffer a life time?  Buddha has answers for that.  So, may the spirit of Jesus be with me and may becoming enlightened to another world help me choose wisely because right now, nope, sorry, I can’t separate ya’ll. 

Enlightened to another world is not a big deal since you can’t trust spirits.  Mischievous bastards it’s not right for me to be in your world, is that it? Your ability to predict future events is no better than mine. 

In the past four years there were two years of work, four countries lived in, discarding everything as I moved restlessly on, coming home to the plate and he slides and I am out.  It’s time to start again for the umpteenth. 

8:18pm—The elderly French lady, the Kiwi’s, the Austrians, the German speaking Nepalis, I gave ‘em all the same line; being a homeless man with a decent degree has worked for the most part, with one notable and obvious self inflicted exception, and while I try not to think of bottoming out again I do consider the worse case scenarios more so now, I’m not afraid only dismayed I’ll need to ask for help. 

Before dusk Suraksha and Deetsi and I went down to the field where the crazy dog lives during the day and the girls cut buffalo grass.  During the afternoon they were manning the tap and filling containers.  In the kitchen meanwhile, the oldest brother whose name I will not use here because he can find it too easily with a search key, is in the kitchen making apple fritters for the kiwis, getting creative, you know talent when you see it, say a little cinnamon would be nice.

4.9.13

The quiet heavy haze at five in the morning is more pleasant than one might expect.  With no mountains, all a visitor is left with is an encompassing solitude. 

My first tip comes from the friend of the guide who led the Austrians.  Why?  Not because he was in a Japanese prison for years, accused of murdering a woman and then was released when DNA proved him innocent. Yes, he is thankful and quite hungry, eating more than the tourists.

A guide for the bald dude in room six asks if the government will take care of me if I return to America in two months.  Ha.  And I won’t ask.  I tell him most receive something when they turn sixty five and I’m not even close, wanker in the waiting.

Look at this chicken, Suman.  She’s been morose ever since we ate her boyfriend and she’s still digging holes in the garden to lay Carl’s offspring.  What to do.  This is a question to ask:  if your neighbor’s chicken lays eggs in your field are the eggs yours? 

All is quiet on the dining room front so it’s back to the room.  A quick clean-up of the beds and there’s Margaret Thatcher in room five.  Let’s sit for a second.  This is still a nice room.  As is six, with its few ornamentals on the walls.  The bald dude moved the aging marigold malla on the same hook as the Jordanian mosaic so he could, presumably, examine the brass plated swastika high on the pillar across from the toilet. 

Prem Maya’s second oldest and her mother and the second youngest were coming over with groceries from the bamboo gate as I was coming down to the room when we met, at the juncture where the latter two climbed over the wall onto the path that leads direct to their home.  The second oldest lagged behind and without glasses I thought it was the non-coincidental woman for a few uncomfortable seconds, yikes they look alike, get the key open get inside, Namaste, a sweet kid. 

It’s been a few weeks since I attempted to watch the March 6 airing of the Daily Show with the astrophysics dude on and for more than a month it is just unmercifully slow and not having watched two minutes of the bleeping show.  What the blank is this.   

I might be down to perhaps even under 170lbs for the first time since I trained for the Dubai marathon ten years ago.  Am I in the same shape?  Hardly, and I never smoked cigarettes then.  It’s the diet, a lunch of rice, dal and a small of amount of curry veg, would a piece of onion be too much to ask, oh you never ask.  I’d like the number one, whopper meal with no cheese, diet coke.  There, I asked. 

9:25pm—The second high season is keeping the lodge full for another night, and it was a good night too, with meals and drinks and everyone worked hard, including our princess Suraksha, who managed the water at the tap, and Suman, who is a natural in the kitchen.  How in the world could this place become the next Lakeside, I don’t think, deep down, the community really wants this kind of change.  They need more water and better roads but is development really the only answer?  Power was out most of the afternoon and evening and at the junction small shops use candles.  The widened road is dark.  I don’t think I’d like to come back in four years and find a Lakeside in Sarangkot.  Sarangkot is special because it isn’t Lakeside, thank Om for that, but there must be a better way.  I just don’t know.