The Right People

March 17, 1944

Dear Charles,

            Happy St. Patrick’s Day!  Did you celebrate?  We’re spending a very quiet evening at home-well, not too quiet—Edward is asleep in the big chair in the front room and when he snores it can hardly be called quiet.

            I got your letter two days ago and intended to answer right away but I was in one of those moods where I just couldn’t get started so I’ve put it off until tonight.  You’ve asked my advice or opinion on your problem and what follows is just that and nothing more.  I often wonder if I have so much to say on such matters-but since its just another’s point-of-view and can be discarded as useless if you see fit—here goes.

            It sounds as though Norma is really in love with you and you are pretty sure you are with her.  The fact that she wasn’t educated in Catholic schools explains very well her attitude of “church is just a habit”, but she can’t be blamed for that.  It’s all the more reason why you should try to help her if she wants to be a practical Catholic. 

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            To me it seems she’s in much the same boat that Lillian is in.  Lil had no Catholic school training at all.  She doesn’t take Lenten fasting and such things seriously at all—they’re just a lot of foolish rules to her and usually she just disregards them.  But she hasn’t been taught any different and she can’t be held responsible—at least not like I would be since I was taught these rules and the Church’s right to enforce them for 12 years.  It’s just something she and Norma have missed and if Norma means very much to you it’s your job to start her on the right track.  If you’re sure she’s a baptized Catholic—go on from there.  Would it be possible for you to get her interested in taking instructions from some young priest in her own parish?  Some day when you’re on liberty you should go together to the rectory and talk the thing over with one of the priests—a young one preferably.  Norma would probably feel more at home.  Make her realize that a priest is a real friend—someone to confide

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in—someone whose opinion is usually carefully weighed and unbiased.  I think you’ve found out as well as I have God only knows where I’d be if it hadn’t been for Father Pastorius and Father Carlin.  Her family background needn’t frighten you.  It isn’t her fault that they aren’t different—and her being young is another thing in your favor.  She has had that many years less to become set in her ways and to form adverse opinions and habits.  If she loves you and wants to be what you are in fact as well as in name she’ll follow your example and try to imitate your way of living.  What you do will have more effect on her than anything else, and if you can lead her why worry about her parents?  In time you’ll both be praying for them together. Once you’re married your life together is influenced by each other—very seldom by anyone outside, and since in my estimation you are a very practical Catholic, I think everything could be worked out without too much trouble and with very good results.  Even if Norma wouldn’t want to go to a

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priest for intstructions in practical Catholicity, there are other ways—but since you’re the person most interested and who understands the circumstances better than anyone else, the first moves in the right direction will be up to you.

         

   I feel sure that Mother would feel very much as I do if were to tell her the same things you’ve told me.  She has always said it wasn’t who or what you were that mattered but what you wanted to be and what you tried to be that counted.  And you know that above everything else she wants her children to be happy.  She prays especially for your happiness because you two are so close and she knows how terribly disappointed in your affair with Betty.  She’s a wonderful person, Charles, and it isn’t in her to be disappointed in someone because they lack something thru no fault of their own.  She’d love Norma for your sake alone, if for nothing else, because she’s the means of making you happy—just as she loves me, because I’m Edward’s wife and the mother of his children.

It’s after midnight so goodnight.  I’ll write again as soon as I can. 

Love, Peg