it's still plausible?

This evening’s conversation class started with Tevya telling Zeitel she was to be married to the butcher and ended with two groups deciding what were their most meaningful traditions, the not as meaningful ones and those that ought to be changed, and for the most part the conversation was good except for one who became dogmatic and it was absurd to listen to and I objected rightly so but afterwards I felt, and still do two and half hours later, exhausted, arguing with a legalist is a most unpleasant way to cap a long day that doesn’t give me much time to write which is a good thing I guess, my moanings are nothing but those.  Monday moanins every day gets old.  sorry.  about. that.  I did see ten minutes of a pleasant mix of clouds and light from the roof before the morning men came. 

One nice thing about these 36 hour courses is they’re only six weeks long and that’s a hellava lot easier to manage than 15 long nerve-tearing week semesters.  Tomorrow I’ll finish the second toefl class, be gone, men, who came only when they wanted to. 

One student came to the dreaded new one thirty class and then a couple of older fellas decided to sit in on the class and now they’ve signed up and, whatever, I used the space heater for twenty minutes this morning, what a beauty it is.

11.11.15  Armistice Day

An overcast sunrise nowhere to be seen, rain falls quietly, the window is open, temps are slightly warmer today, thanks be to Allahn. 

Five years ago I imagined the kind of job that most fit my description at the time.  Even today it looks plausible. 

How about a place in the wall in Old Varanasi.  People can come up to me and ask questions because that’s why I’ll be there.  

Tourist:  What’s the meaning of life?

John:  Don’t expect anything in life.

Tourist:  Expectations are bad?

John:  When a farmer plants his crop he knows better than to expect a harvest because he knows the weather could destroy it.  Therefore he trusts that was he has done will turn out for the best.

Tourist:  So you have no expectations.

John: I believe what happens in life happens for a reason.  To expect anything that isn’t meant to be can cause stress and anxiety. 

Tourist:  You expect there will be food to eat when you wake up in the morning.  If I have nothing…

John:  …If you have nothing, you should expect nothing, if you have a yogurt in the fridge why would you ever think it wouldn’t be there in the morning?  All we ought to be doing is giving ourselves to others and practice doing what is good and right.  But when we expect something in return for our efforts, we’ve gotten off the wheel.

Tourist:  I don’t know.  I expect some things.  Do you expect me to leave you a tip for this advice?

John:  Dealing with disappointment should be done quickly.  I won’t think any less of you. 

Tourist:  In other words, you do expect me to give you something.

John:  I don’t have sliding fee scale.  I sit in a hole in a wall and I think.  I don’t have a sign outside my hole and no one told you to stop. 

Tourist:  I stopped because you look like you saw a ghost.

John:  That was a year ago and I’ve never been the same since.  No one believes or understands what I experienced but I know what I experienced.  Sitting in a hole in the wall of Varanasi is all I have left of my sanity.  So, a few rupees would be appreciated.

Tourist:  What exactly did you experience?

John:  The story will cost you.  I ran out of toilet paper this morning.