protect your own honor

In the living room Mom hung a pencil sketch print of three men; JFK, Pope John the 23^rd, and John the Baptist.  In a daily meander of thought I sometimes wonder if I am behaving like any of these.  To be born with such a name shouldn’t come any responsibility or expectations, it’s just a name, right?  Anyways, am I anything like JFK right now?  I don’t think so.  How about the 23^rd dude, ha, unlikely.  John the crazy man Baptist, eating twigs and probably smoking whatever was around in the desert, wearing the same clothes for months and months.

Yesterday evening I went to the Arena for lamb kebabs and we sat outside in a half dome tent and it was too cold so as a result I am lung and nose congested and I have to loosen that shit all up and how do you get someone to cough all the bad out without birthing another hernia?

In Tianjin a student said he hated me because I had a passport.  Last night a student tells me he wants nothing more than to get out of here though he tempers his enthusiasm when other students come into the room.  Is he just practicing what English he knows or is there a face to keep in public?  I don’t know.

I don’t know what it is but November in the Western Hemisphere brings gloom and doom to the world.  While the sun disappears unacceptably earlier each day so does the optimism and clarity of those who follow too much news.  What to do but buy sun lamps and download Bill Murray movies!

11.24.15

This morning I helped interview 18 young women who want to study in a new management program sponsored by USAID.  This was the first time I’ve had the chance to meet so many of Kandahar’s female population in one morning, how kind and sweet they are, happy to say, optimistic.  Youth breeds optimism and to hear is to hope.  In any case it was nice to meet a young woman who is a mid-wiver and I had to ask if the money was good,  her green eyes twinkled and stunning smile said but of course.  The others were teachers or had just finished their secondary school. 

Some were kinder than others which led me to tell one student with sparkling warm eyes and confident countenance that the one skill she possesses that ensures success in any management position is empathy.

It’s relief sometimes when I don’t have to explain the meaning of a word.

I have to admit my video library has grown in the last two or three weeks.  I’m pretty sure I know which movie I’ll show on Thanksgiving. 

8:35pm

Now I don’t know what I’m gonna show in two days.  Suggestions for animated movies, suggestions to watch an hour of a movie and then talk about it was suggested.  I’m flopping around like a cold fish because my syllabus is a working syllabus and it’s back to searching.  An animated movie that’s only an hour and won’t bore anyone older than 13.  You’re breaking my balls, dude just because you’re in that ring of incredibly wealthy people in this country, you can’t toss me around, ok I should have expected stormy skies.

‘How many years has Kandahar had peace?’  4

Off the grid.  One panel space heater is good.  Coldest temps of the season tonight. 

Is it ok to fly a kite in Kandahar?  Yes, of course.  Ok, when do people fly kites?  Crickets chirp and diversions are made. 

Why doesn’t anyone use their roof in Aino Mina?  Why doesn’t anyone have a garden on their roof in Aino Mina?  Murmured responses, oh, a few dry their clothes on the roof, sometimes a man has tea on the roof.  Women never go up because they are still purdahed, a tradition we agreed, came from the Maharashis in Rajasthan, and is looking hopelessly absurd, agreed so by the women. 

I don’t know, mac, it sometimes sounds more like possessive ownership and jealously than what they say is protecting a woman’s honor.  Let the woman protect her own honor. 

The women in class tonight expressed their frustration and I joined with them every time a man in the class said Kandahar is still 5, 10, 20, years away from coming alive again.  Men are realistic and remain cautious.  Woman are optimistic and want action. Pashtunwali still influences relationships and decision making and the Taliban harass at will.  When does corruption begin?  How does it begin?  This wasn’t an easy question to answer from the class because it begins with individuals making choices and being the change that starts within.
 

11.25.15

10:06pm