take it all ha ha

June.  I like the name.  It is summer. 

Two weak Iranian tramadol, two Pakistani Xanax and some organic medicine let me sleep good.  This morning I am just about ready to go and once in the crowded office I’ll be able to stay busy for at least an hour and then I can work on things for the next class which will be on Saturday.  That’s a good long time to be thinking about a ninety minute class how in the world are you gonna spend all that time and not go insane.  I must sacrifice the isolation with public interaction.  It will be good, it ought to be good, I am, how to say it, I don’t know now ambient space music is keeping me from going there.

Transport leaves in an hour.  Today is shower day and I need to add shampoo to my shopping list.  Along with razors.  Can we go after the last class?  I have to ask or I will have to walk.

4:00pm—Class in thirty minutes.  I am quickly reading Siddhartha again.  How different it reads this time, I don’t know what it is but it is engaging more so. 

A heavy rain came when I came out of the library.  I had looked up a verse in Byron’s ‘The Road to Oxiana’ to re-read how he described the main road outside of this campus in the early 1930’s as the most beautiful road in the world.  When I go back and forth from the cloister to the campus I cannot even imagine this is the same famous road.

The library has many excellent titles, oh if I had time in the world to read such interests.  But Siddhartha is sufficient and it’s on my pc.  I did read a chapter of Melville in the transport, but that book requires a different time and place.  Here, in a quiet office, the sun is again out and heats the room, I am ready to go and there’s no time to look at myself and say am I on the right path.  I can only assume.

8:10pm—would it spoil some vast eternal plan if…?  Evidently yes it appears.

Practicing second conditionals some students couldn’t do it.  ‘I can’t imagine being rich sir.’  Rich is a relative noun and adjective.  What is rich to you is not to someone else.  A poor woman in a mountainous region has twenty pairs of shoes.  She says she is rich.  ‘I don’t know, sir.’

What can you not imagine, well a lot if you’re asking me.  Being rich, I imagine it but it doesn’t go too far after that.  But if you became wealthy?  Like playing the lottery? 

Transport took me to Finest before they dropped me off and again, I had the exact amount necessary to pay for the basket of honey, tea, cereal, biscuits, crackers, cheese, detergent, razors, sugar, shampoo, chocolate, olive oil, bread, juice, a can of dr. pepper, diet coke and not 40afs to spare, 35 cents I reckon.  The kid with good English was there the last two times it’s happened.  Tesaduf.  Coincidence.  Go ahead take all my money, ya again, take it all ha ha.

or you can also call it simple luck, that wouldn’t be related to a coincidence, would it, I think it is.  Timing is everything is another one.  They’re the same. 

Or you had a subconscious idea how much each item was when you went in, no, all I had was a list and I don’t know how much a box of tea is and I ain’t counting as I shop do I have enough do I have enough, no I’m not doing that, I’m just bloody shopping for food!

I knew how much money I had going in but how in the world can you buy everything on your list except eggs and have just enough, I don’t know because I don’t look at any prices because there are two men waiting for me outside and I don’t wanna be in there all day looking at every item for something different.

Go ahead, say it.  Your spirit knew how much you had because you counted what you had earlier in the day.  When it was time to shop I bought and the spirit kept tab.  And he didn’t tell me because he didn't need to?  I guess not.

And that was the day.  Back in the Apollo guesthouse grotto, two grilled cheese sandwiches and twenty minutes of television news was enough. 

Ramadan begins next week, a Tuesday or Wednesday and here it is a public holiday which means no classes on that day or the next and that’ll throw class schedules into chaos because native speakers are all leaving in the next three weeks and they won’t finish their classes and they’ll have the locals with good enough English teach.  And that is how it’s going to be and tell students they won’t get a native English speaker for a month or longer it’s possible.  What a mess and not a good way to manage the place.

The lights go off throughout the building and my eight year old ipod croons out ten year old kings of leon and a candle burns, oh wait, the generator has us back in a lighted room.  Thank you, sirs! 

I do not want to take tramadol or Xanax tonight but I will if I cannot sleep.  Would that mean I have become dependent on this cheap crap?  Well, if it helps me sleep what can I do.  Learn Flemish?