no just God

8.21.14

"No just God would stand for what they did yesterday,”

6.02am—The driver leaves with the skinny Chinese girl and Maya, who is going to Naudana to visit her ailing mother.  Heavy yellow fog holds the mountain hostage, rain falls lightly. 

By uttering these words President Obama challenges whoever the hell is in charge to do something.  No just God stands idle while others in the name of God murder.  That is a logical conclusion and thus we ought to expect divine intervention.  It’s time for the Master, the Maker, to put its ontological cards down and do something otherwise people will simply give up on YOU.  Or they will simply interpret you differently.

Darkness closes in, babies cry below, all is still I gotta breathe, sun where is the sun.

12.17pm

Five hours of solid rain fell until finally the fog lightened up and it was ok to stand outside; right now visibility is 20 yards and it is dead calm. Birds on holiday, construction workers sleep, kids off to school, no tourists drive up, far below, a single hammering.  I asked Shiva who was visiting the dining room if he ever feels a little crazy when the sun hasn’t been around for weeks.  Yes, of course.  What are your symptoms?  Tension.  Do you ever see anything strange?  Do people look different? 

Flight itinerary printed out, bus ticket to Kathmandu purchased, even a room in Dubai for three nights, wow planning ahead.  An sms from a colleague back in the desert says a calendar she read says the return date for faculty is a week earlier than I plan to set foot in that place.  Ram brings the wind-up solar radio Guy left here two years ago and is planning to finish cleaning the rooms though I think they are clean.  I will check on him if his fuzzy Teej music annoys.   

My black man-purse has grown a shade of algae.  I turned the radio volume down, he is cleaning bathrooms. 

So, in the silence what is it that you want to do for the rest of your life?  This is not a fair question coming from me because I know well enough what I want to do and what I will inevitably do are two monsters.  The rain returns immediately with a vengeance.  I’ve already stated here where I’d like to see myself in a year with conditions to be somewhere else if what I see remains a mirage. 

And you won’t pursue that ‘dream’ job unless?  Unless I borrow, which I loathe to do though I have never defaulted any loan.  But don’t forget your training is what got you here and that dream job will be where?  In the bush, on a cliff, in a pub, in the meadows, on a lark, in the dunes wearing pantaloons, or just behind a desk?  Which sounds ok sort of, it really isn’t ok at all.  I don’t dream of desks. 

It’s time to snooze.

4.11pm

Pokhara emerges for the first time today.  Life does indeed exist below.  This is good.  Here comes Ram to tell me to go eat something and grabs my wrist.  Tsk, tsk, wolf child.  He sits on the carpet with the New Yorker I brought with me from Thailand and he is looking at the cartoons and photos and licks his chops at something I can’t see nor remember because I finished the magazine.  Let’s go for tea, boynee and he’s laughing at a drawing of David Chappell.  Why?  He tells me in Nepali and then Ram is off and wait, the Sun has been spotted!

9.16pm

The absence of sunlight for the past two weeks is most likely contributing to stomach cramps, sneezing, and itchy itchy eyes.  Maya was very kind and made me a mug of honey lemon ginger and other ‘natural floating medicinals’  tea after eating a quarter piece of a huge jungle banana left me scurrying for the loo. An apple also did me in, strange because I was alright after a little bit of dal bhat.

Three nights and we’re on the road again.  Did the month go fast considering how slow life goes here? A strange paradox it is. 

I sit now typing with one hand, the left holds a dripping cup of warm water.  The city below is clear and it is calm but there are no stars and who knows what the next 12 hours will bring.  I stopped following patterns when I descended from the four days in the belly memory, it changes too much now.

Sneezes come one after another, this is also the first night in three weeks or so there are no guests.  Funny, they come when the weather is bad and there’s no chance they’ll see anything literally and when they don’t come there’s a break and a chance to see the mighty Himalayas.  I think this is a good name to call your child.  Himmy, Himal, boy or girl, doesn’t matter.  It’s a name that is solid and will never let you down though you might fall from it. 

I’m a bit disappointed in myself for not coming up with an original idea that could stop the fighting over there in the holy lands.  I suspect finding answers in states of higher consciousness with noble intentions has been the wrong approach to discovering a truth that would transcend even the evilest of them all. 

And I’m somewhat surprised you expect divinity to give you something when you’re dissing the Supreme Commander and Chief of all life forces.  I am a contradiction I tell you.  Can’t have it both ways, sure, I can.  You can’t hear my suprasegmentals here.  Intentions are everything.

Ideas are free and what I wrote here for the past 32 days, they’re just ideas.  I can’t do much with only an idea if I am not with like minded people, though there may be few if any of those.  If no one is trying to come up with a new solution to an ancient conflict, well #$% and shame on me for trying.

Good night and God bless us.