There’s no
logic to love and in hindsight, it makes perfect sense. Keep me away from it. Why?
Because I’ll lose everything for it and there’s no logic to that, right? I’ll be so poor in spirit it does leave me
wondering if someone or some magnetically warbling field has intentionally kept
me in places where it is safe. I know, I've chosen the places I’ve lived and just
because opportunities are significantly smaller, I am safe from myself, I
guess. God forbid I should lose my life
to love.
How is your relationship with God today?
There is nothing more wastefully time consuming than
waiting for something to happen. If I am
not given the impetus, the ambition to do it myself, what can I do? How can I force myself to do what is not in
me alone? Alone is a pejorative word in your case,
dude, and of course you need others to inspire you and push you to pursue what you only
dream about. Did I answer the question?
I haven’t anticipated a trip as much as this one
coming. A night in Dubai is manageable,
ten in Nepal for goodness sakes, it’s almost enough to do a trek. Well, it is possible to do Panchase. I think I’ll need a minimum of three
days.
Fezel is cooking an egg dish, I handed him a bag of
vegetables. Tomorrow or the next day
I’ll leave out whatever fruit is left.
9:53pm—Am I the source of tension, my own imagination, how
are things going to be when I see I what I have to do? What you have to do, and what is it that you
have to do? In the most diplomatic way I
have to say I don’t like what I don’t see any more and I have other interests
that I wish to explore. Where in the
world do you think your spirit is going to take you? I’ve given what I have been able to give and I
can continue this but I no longer like the view.
How many times have you been to Nepal since April of
2009? Every year I visited, staying
sometimes as brief as five days and as long as ten months. The people, the weather, the mountains of
course have kept me coming back, and the mountains do not change, unlike
mountain people, and flat landers keep moving on but I don’t want to move too
far off the mountain. Just away from its
urbanization.
And it’s not what I am doing that bothers me it’s how
others will react because it could be misunderstood. Understanding. Acceptance.
There will be no jealously, there will be no last minute offers, there
will be no pleas nor scenes of dismay.
Like adults we will see each other coming and going and life will
continue. There, think like this, think
positively. The worst aspect of role
playing is I see the worst scenarios and it leaves me bummed out even though
none of it ever comes true, though it could.
So why always think the worst when you know everything
usually turns out ok? I lose a lot of
sleep because of negative thinking.
Should you be drinking a mountain dew at this time of
night? I didn’t finish reading toefl essays
today so I gotta do it all tomorrow and plan ahead because when you come back
you’ll be ready? Ya, that is a nice way
to come back. Be ready. Here, finish off
the pistachios and let’s try these dried mulberries again.
© ® ™ ᾨ φ ❶ ¤ ¿ Ø ß Đ Ħ ƍ Ə ǂ Ʊ Ȣ ɷ ʘ ʬ
ζ ϡ ϗ ϔ Д Ѡ Ѫ ฿ᴥ
Life is
nothing but an arrangement of symbols and if you understand the symbols you
understand how to navigate through life.
It hasn’t been too hard, has it?
In hindsight it hasn’t been easy at all.
And
three years ago today I believe Laxman and I reached the Annapurna Base
Camp. I need to trek more. 
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