I finished prepping for tonite’s toeflers, the
internet finally became available after ten thirty which of course at seven in
the morning gave me no excuse to delay the day’s plan and then it was breakfast
in Saffiq’s room and two cups of green tea, bread and cold fried egg later, it
is back in the blue room to….to what? I
have to print the plans now and print out tomorrow’s tests. But there’s no rush, I got six hours before
I teach. Shall we take a stroll outside? In the yard?
Fezel came out of the kitchen with a bowl
of pomegranate kernals. Yes, they are
healthy for you too. Then he asked for a
cigarette. Then Said Wali was asking for
a cigarette. Rezek, politely
declined. A pack of Camels goes for a
dollar in this town. Imagine paying $12
in Rochester.
Imagine laying down again and it’s not even noon. No electricity in the morning is seriously an
unfortunate pattern. No use of the
toaster or kettle, the pc battery is two hours away from its finish line. You see I don’t have many electrical needs,
but should I complain? C’mon and shut up.
7.33pm
What does a coincidence that becomes anything
but a coincidence say about you?
First I don’t look for them and I didn’t look for them
six years ago. They just started to happen.
Is it possible to suggest your rebellious and reckless unconscious
projected desires and wishes from your memories on everyone else?
Perhaps for the coincidences that turned
out to be anything but. I have no
control over events, I have no control over nature. The encounter with the woman and the angst
that came to her more than me, nevertheless darn it, she started it. She started it. Simple.
Going to Gazientap for work and discovering Job’s cave wasn’t a
coincidence. Going to Salalah for work and discovering Job’s Nephillim size footprint and nine foot tomb wasn’t a coincidence
either. I was @#$& led there.
I haven’t been anywhere else where it is believed Job
once lived, that is if you don’t count Cornamona. That’s where he started, he drew a map on my
living room floor, ha ha. Places in
between you think he may have camped in?
Kandahar? I don’t know. Buraimi?
I don’t know to that one either.
Nor do I ascertain the nature of my connections in Nepal. Nyima left me to figure this whole cosmological quandary out myself. I had questions, too, boy.
9.14.15
7:35pm
I got ten months to go on this
contract. If you asked me today are you
going to stay after the completion of it I’d have to honestly say if you can put me in Herat, I’ll
stay. I know nothing of Mazar or the new
set up in Jalabad, the city that featured so prominently in Dalyrimple’s
latest. But Herat interests me more than
the rest. Granted I jumped for this job
in part because Kandahar has an airport with direct flights to Dubai, and that
is important. My one run through Kabul’s airport convinced me this was a
fortunate call in advance.
With some apprehension I began the novena I wrote and will finish
on the day I am to fly two and a half hours south for a beer and another
flight.
The most curious aspect of the novena is
in the beginning prayer where I leave a space to say what it is you want or
need or whatever, but I didn’t have anything seriously in mind at the time when
I started it. The prayers were the usual
requests for wisdom and direction and peace.
If I had started and continued for nine days with a specific request
would I have been disappointed? That’s
why now I am reluctant to start because I am expecting and that is the worst
thing I can do. But I want to do it and
this morning was relatively smooth. Wisdom,
direction, and peace cover a hellava lot of ground, don’t you think? The specifics, ya know, God already knows
them and I tire of asking. My
subconscious unconscious may say, ya, I got tired of asking too, so it’s the big whatever
moment in time. Whatever.
But at the same time continue with the faith because what choice do I really have, really, and don’t ask for what
you don’t need, an easier thing to say once one has seen the ascent and sees
below the forest of fog.
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