I woke up at three thirty without a clue.
The sun rises 13 minutes before seven and there won’t
be a need for an alarm since I wake up to the light and I wasn’t worried about
anything before I turned in last night.
I must admit when these ‘middle of the night wake ups’ happen I think my spirit has been alerted to something bad though
most of the time there is no connection with anyone or anything and that
doesn’t help explain why I wake up.
It
could have been my breathing, I was wheezing a little last night and perhaps I
woke up because I was low on the oxygen.
This is certainly a better reason than spirits waking me up.
A red flower has appeared in the garden’s orange and
yellow blaze. What a sight, let’s hope
there are more of these little fellas.
I’ll take a picture later. For
now, I must rest and it’s only ten o’clock.
9:46pm—I started a new
blog tonight and what else is there to do tonight. Not a lot, I think bed is waiting to put the
day behind as soon as possible. Is there
a full moon you should be worried about? It looked awful bright tonight; it reminded me
of high school cheerleaders like Shelly Munnings and others who’d yell when
they saw a car with one headlight, ‘ look, a pi-diddly’, I think is what they
called them. I never really understood
why they called it a pe-diddle, I was only in a girl’s car once in four years
of high school.
2.22.16
Tonight’s full moon was grand and uneventful. I was going to the roof to see it rise when a
female student in the afternoon class stopped me at the steps with lots of
vocabulary questions and I missed the rise which in truth is ok, but I’m telling
ya there are a few of these women who put on their burqas over their black
abayas when they leave the building and there was an odor about this one that
gagged me, a rancid unwashed unkempt smell and I feel really bad for these gals
because surely they know they rank, perhaps they remain ranked so any man that
thinks twice about approaching them will quickly detour away.
I’m learning to teach without breathing through my
nose.
2.23.16
Scrambled eggs cannot take out a tooth but eating
breakfast this morning parts of a molar on the lower right side broke up
leaving yet another stump in my mouth.
Age, smoking, not visiting a dentist regularly, you name it, too much
sugar too much of this and that. I have
a headache this morning and I am cranky.
In the morning men’s class a student said he watched an American television show about people breaking out of
prison and said he couldn’t trust Americans because they’re not good people.
I am glad I don’t let my anger get the best of me
because of a student. In this case I
assumed he wasn’t saying what he really wanted to say (we were studying how to
use ‘used to’ ) nevertheless I felt the tension rise and my blood rose and told him it would be absurd if
every American thought Afghanis were terrorists.
And it left me with mild shakes. Anger.
I don’t want, I don’t like, anger that leaves me shaking. Reading the news doesn’t leave me shaking
because internet news is two dimensional.
I should go back to bed. I have to prepare for the toefl class
tonight. I have to make copies. I want to sleep, I want to leave. I just want the fucking world to end but that
isn’t my call and really, I don’t know if it’s God’s call anymore.
7:48pm—I took off the
winter jacket and kept it off for the first time today. Temps nearing 80 outside slowly warmed things
up inside. Now that it’s night a cool
but not chilly room is all I have and here comes Hanukkah with a thermos of
green tea and he plants himself in front of the space heater.
This afternoon the big boss, SW and I visited a
building in the center of the city that the big boss would like to move PDI’s
operations to in order to attract a growing demand who cannot make it to Aino
Mina because of the lack of transportation and because we are almost an hour
away from parts of the city where students live. I think it would be great to live in the
center though there really isn’t much to see or do for a foreigner and security
will be the biggest issue and I told the owner of the building any decision to
move will be made by AUAF in Kabul.
I won’t be here when or if they ever move anyways. I think it’s bedtime.
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