peace in pashto

The plan is collapsing rapidly.  If I had read the visa requirements at the beginning I probably would have never considered doing this this long.  An FBI clearance to study the Bible.  Belgium, your colonial ghosts spook you but I am not one of them.  And yesterday I felt bad complaining about having to prove my innocence to attend the school.  My diplomas, transcripts, letters of recommendation and still they want the spooks rubber stamp, like they know squat about me.  I’m not expecting any American white dude privilege but if there are no alternatives,  the visa application requires a six month post dated fbi clearance and I can’t do shit as long as I am in Kandahar.  This is simple and true and I think I am screwed.

Something’s not right here.  Such a formidable obstacle I spent yesterday afternoon looking elsewhere.  A job fair coming in three weeks, I am not going.  The usual places hiring, places I could work at, places I have worked at, and there will be nothing sent this year as far as I know today.  And like the hole in the sock that always finds its way back to the toes, New Zealand is back to haunt me with volunteering.  And then we went a little further and saw Fiji and I’m thinking of The Bounty and beaches and grass skirts and a hammock.

He’s been smoking hashish for the last fifty years and shows no ill-health.  I asked him if he considered himself a spiritual man.  He wasn’t sure how to answer the question and wondered if I should have asked him then he only noted all his friends have died and I reminded him of all the family he’s got around him and best of all an endless supply of hashish.  Strange it seems to meet a kindred spirit who’s lived a life in the smoke and he has perfect teeth and he was proud to show us. 

I was the first American he had ever met. 

On the road to Srinagar we stopped and gave a lift to a young American woman.  She was shocked when I correctly guessed that she was from Elmira New York and then I asked her if it is possible to take a short-cut to enlightenment.  Certainly not.  Are your intentions pure?  Then what you do is sacred.    

I do not have a single photo from my visit to the Taj Mahal.  If they were on my Mac Desk Top I should have looked.  But I didn’t because the young woman told me there was nothing on the computer.  I think she wasn’t telling me the truth.  Damn. 

2.27.16

I cooked liver and onions for the first time in my life and it was delicious. 

I visited Agra on my first visit to India and on that same trip I visited Varanasi, Delhi, Dharamsala, and Simla and none of those photos are with me.  What happened to them? 

On the way back from visiting a private college with the boss we stopped to visit a supermarket that is twice the size of the KS I walk to and my oh my didn’t I find m&m’s and razors and cereal, how fast can one spend thirty dollars I don’t know but like all new places to shop where selection is rare I looked at every item on every shelf, real shampoo, check, sour cream and chive rice crackers, check.

9:50pm—What are my plans and what are God’s plans?  What?  You don’t want the Bible to be reshuffled?  What?  I don’t need to go back to university to do it?  You don’t want it done?  How long have I been planning, how long did it take me to get everything together to apply for this college? 

And you’ve had doubts about the kind of academic work you’ll be expected to do and you don’t think you can do it but maybe I can just with some help I suppose, going back after 26 years is a bloody challenge, but if I can’t even apply for a visa, stuck at the door, I can ask around but you’re already looking aren’t you, for another job, yes I sent my cv out this morning and lordy loo I already got a reply and ya know I know what you’re thinking, this morning I was looking around and I started in Yerevan which led me to Lithuania which then led me to of all places. 

I replied to the human resources manager and said I’d be in the neighborhood on holiday next month, perhaps if there was someone to talk to about the post.

Lord Have Mercy

Christ Have Mercy

Lord Have Mercy

Just because something looks like a coincidence doesn’t mean it’s a coincidence. 

Can you explain exactly what is happening?  I know you write this only Jack knows cryptic language when you’re not saying what you want to say to avoid jinxing the future.  Just explain it because you’ve been chewing on it all day and it brought you to tears for a moment, no no, you said, not another coincidence well I don’t know if it is, but in brief, three weeks ago I booked a ticket to Tbilisi.   It’s a holiday.  At the same time the Lueven process has been going on and as I’ve said my provisional sojourn has hit a wall.  I may be jumping the gun and perhaps the ku-folks know how to get around the unnecessary red tape, perhaps they don’t, so in doubt and resignation and a day’s worth of angst I found a post in Tbilisi just by accident because I didn’t start there and it’s a good job, not salary wise, but in usefulness and purpose.  Why should I be so desirous of returning to university to divide up the new testament when a chance emerges in your prayers to help those fleeing from the worst of wars and famine and they just keep coming don’t they, the migration continues, well, if it is a coincidence, then leuven will have to wait or leuven will just be a dream which, if I can finish here, it has been a long time thinking and planning for university and then in a pinch I see the prism altered.  Is it the God-Om combo or is it nothing at all, a distraction, I don’t know, if this isn’t a coincidence, fine. 

John, Jack, whoever the hell you are, it’s almost March, go to bed now, I enjoy listening to the soundtrack of Last of the Mohicans. 

Solaah, that is peace in pashto.  I will say this instead of salaam or shanti.  Solaa with a soft h, i'll have another listen if i remember to ask someone.  goodnight.