open the door

2.15.16

4:37pm—The space heater thaws my hands and the window is open to ventilate.

Sunset is minutes away. 

Dinner tonight: two boiled eggs, toast with Turkish blackberry jam, black tea. 

I am never alone in this house.  Somewhere one of the guards is on duty and sometimes I hear other voices. 

The front door rings.

2.16.16

A wave of cabin fever hits me in the sun while shuffling around the gazebo.  A plot of dry dirt looks sad and a shovel I lean on doesn’t want to work. 

Pope John Paul had a love interest.  I am so happy for him.  He had an example of love on earth.  His inspiration for Loving God came from his experience,  love for a woman.

And how do, sorry, how can you love God without that kind of intimacy for it is that very blood boiling emotion which makes revolutions.

I can’t be intimate with someone who doesn’t live in the same country I do.   

7:18pm—a plugged ear is definitely throwing me off balance.  Short-fused, irritable, cranky, new words my students learned today after I apologized for authentic street language uttered when two sets of speakers malfunctioned and this morning when three cold students weren’t getting the second conditional. 

I’m cold.  I’m tired of being cold.  I sat outside reading Marlon James with my hat, pashmina, gloves and winter jacket which I’ve worn for a month and the sun warmed me up good which left me bummed.  Of all the places in the world to earn a buck. 

Korean made Esse Blue is half the nicotine of Camels which means I’m smoking two for every one.  I don’t like that at all.

Rezek cooked a good lunch with the help of Fezal; sautéed liver in a light tomato sauce fresh lemon juice, squeezed, and chili pepper and raw onion.  My stomach actually feels a little better after this meal. 

What do you think the theology folks at ku thought of my writing samples?  Amateur but his grammar is ok. 

My space heater is sputtering empty.  I guess I can go to bed and read.

2.17.16

James has written a ‘prismatic’ novel. 

How can I emphasize the need to read when there aren’t books available to read?  All their reading is done on tiny mobiles.  I am fortunate to have grown up in a house full of books. 

Ok, let’s prepare for the day’s lessons.  How can I go about teaching ‘late assimilation structures’ to this class?  I used to understand my esl methodologies but 21^st century two-tonguing politics is constantly coming up with something new. 

I’m all ready to go to change money and buy some bread and eggs and the big boss comes to the office.  Ok, I’ll wait.  The temperatures are slowly warming and inside it is at least a half degree warmer thirty minutes before noon. 

Every character in ‘The Brief History of Seven Killings’ tells his or her experiences covering thirty years.  Prismatic. 

The deep silence is broken by the doorbell.  Getting to that deep silence is sometimes helped with a plugged ear.  In Pittsburgh I visited one of these Walgreen clinics and the doctor of sorts pulled out a half inch plug-lure of dark honey brown ear wax. 

It does make ya wonder, doesn’t it, how many imbalanced people we could balance by pulling wax out of their ears.

2.18.16

The space heater helps at seven in the morning but by nine I turn it off and beg for the warm air to come through the window, temps climb slow but it is evident.  Thursday has become a welcomed day, only one class in the late afternoon and then it’s meat free Friday.  I asked Hanukkah to turn on the generator so the geyser would give me enough for a shower soon. 

The letter of admission was waiting for me this morning and the list to dos requires I read this again before I start the process.  Shit, are you for real dude?  Is it gonna happen?

How do you feel about this?  A middle aged man, I can’t deny it any longer I yam what I yam, going back to school.  When in doubt stay in school I say too often. 

For what it’s worth this’ll give you something more to do here, right?  Something more to do, send a few emails and plan for the day when my paradigm shifts west.