8:21am
At twelve twenty three this morning I woke up wide
awake furious what’s going on the bright light outside my room robs me of my
sleep and I can read in the dark this is enough. When the housing department dude was here
yesterday I asked him to move it because I couldn’t sleep it illuminated the
room and I have to be in the dark when I sleep, especially when I sleep so
poorly. He smirked, ‘it’s for
security’.
I removed the light.
with the end of a squeegee.
And I did eventually return to sleep. This mattress is also uncomfortable as is
this blanket. I’d like a bed sheet between
me and this blanket is that possible I don’t know I didn’t bother to ask and I
don’t know how I could get a new mattress but perhaps if I find a place that
sells sheets I’ll buy my own.
Is busting a light grounds for dismissal? Do you want to be dismissed? I am again discontented today, another night
of poor sleep though the laughter is the best medicine as a karmic tool may
have helped my congested sinuses, thanks to the ten people who found something
humorous in skinny legs and plaid shorts.
Gracias. I’m sure if I am
relatively healthy my mental disposition will lighten up. Meanwhile I think I’ll lay down again, a
headache behind my ear is emerging. Lord
have mercy.
8:50pm
I can’t hear deep healing music because the rain has
just started and it falls hard on the corrugated tin roof outside my room.
And I simply can’t believe I am almost out of
decongestant. Why didn’t I stock up in
Tbilisi or at least in Dubai’s terminal two?
Dumb dumb dumb. I was informed
that the German clinic has medicine from Germany and I should avoid the items
that come from Pakistan or Iran in the local pharmacies. Well, ya take what ya got and going to the
German clinic is 45 minutes away and honest I don’t know what transport thinks
of having to give teachers lifts for errands.
I mean there are a lot of teachers.
I sat at the long wood table preparing a syllabus for a business class I
was asked to teach in ten days and five times between 5:30 and seven the white van pulled into the guesthouse and every
time there was only one person getting out.
Hey this is their problem, they know that, if taking a taxi wasn’t
poo-pooed I’d take a taxi, at least to normalize an absurd and oppressive way
of living.
In July I met Anna from Europe somewhere at the
guesthouse and this morning I met her again and she of course didn’t remember
me. ‘You changed’, you mean shaved,
yes. She’s a sweet kid and is
considering returning to school in Ireland this fall. Two years is enough she said, I understand,
staying in one place for two years is a luxury in my beat up book and to do it
here.
I swear I feel bad but I also feel indignant, if I get
another tattoo it will have to be ‘live free or die’ and lord all the Afghans
in the rain that changes everything into mud, you think they don’t have
problems worse than yours? I’m sorry to
be so selfish, Lord they are yours and the rain is supposed to continue for
four days? Really? I’m sick.
Can you end this blog on a positive note? Your writing has been a real kind of bummer
recently. I know, I’m sorry again. Ok, good news….no one replaced the bulb I
whacked to smithereens. I will have
darkness as my friend tonight.
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