flagstar farts

7:44am

I have started looking at this website daily looking for patterns, confirming the tremors I feel all the time and according to this data, it’s all in my head.

http://www.emsc-csem.org/Earthquake/

On the other hand the tremors could be from Uzbekistan, who knows, a  5.5 could be felt here like the ones I felt in the office, I don’t know bud, you’re hyper-sensitive to start. Perhaps. A colleague told me the other day he keeps waking up hearing explosions.  I’ve never heard an explosion like the kind you’d hear in this beleaguered place. 

It’s amazing and kind of frightening isn’t it, to see how many recorded tremors/earthquakes occur every day.  Hundreds.  This earth is cracking up.  And scientists said the two big ones in Japan and Ecuador had nothing in common.  In other words it was a coincidence that had no causal relationship.

Well that happens all the time to me, right?  They’re not messages from God, it’s just shit happening at the same time.  Shit happens at the same time sometimes, right?  Right.  Let’s move on.

Another colleague believes my bank in Michigan has intentionally blocked me from accessing their website because their system identified the IP address from Afghanistan.  What a bummer rap this country gets.  Yolanda, hello!  She knows I'm here.

And another colleague in the office was talking about being robbed two days ago.  This is the second Afghan in a fortnight who has been robbed, and technically kidnapped because the thugs forced him into a car, whacked him in the head and stole all his stuff and then tossed him out of the car about 10km outside the city.  University security sent out another warning:  be vigilant and don’t walk alone.  Well I am coming home early this afternoon and I will walk alone to the shop and buy juice, eggs, pasta, cigarettes and what else, crackers.

It’s almost time to go downtown.  Yesterday was painful, the traffic was nasty slow.  I’m bringing “The Field” with me, reading in gridlock should help me stay calm.  Right?  Xanax would be better but would I be able to stand in front of a group of professionals and not slur my adjectives and bilabial fricatives if I took too many?

5:52pm

For the last three days power at the guesthouse and at the campus goes off and on, I don’t know why, it’s a typical way of life in spring in central Asia I’m told.  The internet is out as well and I’m not complaining too much, the connection has been spotty and frustrating so just be without it and live for a few hours and listen to Simon and Garfunkel.   

My holiday dates are confirmed and not knowing where to go or what to do I feel stressed.  I wish I were stable with a home to go home to.  Where have you been on the internet?  From Goa and Sikkim to the Dolomites to the beaches of Corfu and the Andaman Sea, to Dublin, Auckland and beyond.  Mother of pearl you’ve been everywhere Johnny boy in just twenty minutes settle down lad, you’ve got an auspicious/inauspicious date to remember this weekend.  Maybe after that you’ll have a better picture.  Until then.  Just listen to Paul and Art.

8:26pm

I tried booking a ticket to a place I finally decided I want to go to with my blocked flagfartstar card, of course it didn’t work.  I emailed the ‘representative’, the person I opened the account with, for help and the person hasn’t gotten back to me.  Ok, it’s only Monday and it's noon there, give the person a day before you start ranting in higher octaves.  But really, flagfartstar’s website is still down.  I swear they are Chinese, I am presumed guilty and have to prove my innocence.  I am voting for Sanders so he can break you up flagfartstar.

And when I am done and am standing where I ought to be if I am still alive then I will lift a prayer to the heavens and ask the Rabbi, ‘Rabbi, why are we such fools?  If Jesus were standing outside the gates of Jerusalem today we’d give him a cavity search. 

Maranatha please for your sake, for our sake already.

This view is looking nicer and nicer.  Thanks Buraimi, except for the bird shit.