Monday, May 30, 2016

eating wallows




I guess it’s called space ambient.  Well, it works when there is stuff that needs attention.  How?  Everything is put into a queue and then each item of business is taken care of.  Space music has to be relative, right?  It clears and settles the mind at the moment and then I see ok, let’s do this, this can wait and voila!  I am finished. 

Even though departure plans will pick up I’m sure in a few weeks I’ll start making a visit here and there, it feels today as if I am never leaving this place.  Would that be a symptom of cabin fever?  Transport comes in two and half hours.

I took a Xanax a few minutes ago and if I remember I’ll take a midday one and then one tonight.  I’d like to see if somehow it removes anxiety and lets me be the best I can be under the circumstances and i don't see anxiety among the impoverished displaced could be ok, but if it doesn’t and it leaves me drowsy there’s nowhere to lay down at the campus.  I’m feeling drowsy right now and I no longer like this spacey ambience.


This is a little better.   Ok, let’s do something. 

7:22pm—In the office I had a large chocolate donut and an Americano and I just barely made it back to the cloister four hours later.  Good heavens what’s going on with those two?  So now I should eat but I don’t feel like eating.  A bowl of cereal?  A bowl of Heinz beef and veggie stew, I don’t know but I feel like cheerios and a banana.  Some dinner, eh?  No pancakes?  No.  French toast?  No.  Pasta?  Maybe tomorrow.  There’s nothing else.  I do have two cans of corn.  What can I do with these?  Buy some potatoes, heavy milk, I’ll see what’s missing online.  An onion, pork sausage would be nice but, minced meat would be nice but…We’ll see, a veggie chowder is very doable.  I think.

How was the cheerios and a banana?  It was good.  A cup of tea now?  With biscuits?  Will it be enough for the day? Then I’ll eat something else please.

One class today.  Two students came by to see their marks, they thought they would be in the nineties.  Confident but…And another student came into take the final exam.  he passed the class.  And that was it.  One present student today said the class is boring we are going so slow.  Six pages a week.  Six pages 4.5 hours.  The difference between the highest and lowest mark for the last test is 57 to 91.  I don’t know.  I do seem to be going faster but I don’t have additional resources unless I go with the musical exercise starring Tevya. 

Listening Exercise ‘Conditionals’

1.  Record how many times the man says the words ‘If’ and ‘I’d’

I have to think of more questions. 

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