turbulent fluids

Nothing is working today and I feel like crap.  I came back to the guesthouse at 3:15 and crashed on the bed hoping to snooze deeply to no avail, my throat hurts, my stomach growls and churns like a Van Gogh painting in turbulent fluids, oh Lord,  after a large lunch of meatballs, potatoes au gratin and long green beans finished off with a green tea, at the office the internet was sucking it up so slowly it just gave up, I left not completely prepared for tomorrow’s dreary business lesson though I have Castaway, and by god I might use it though I don’t know how to justify showing it other than in the beginning it’s about a business, right?  Fedex delivers the goods on time, which is what a telecommunications giant is supposed to do, right?  Deliver the goods.   I don’t know.  I dread going into a class unprepared.   

A dreary overcast but a borderline warm beginning of the evening at six fifteen, rain might fall but beginning tomorrow the forecast is clear and temps will rise for the next week.  So? 

The Kabul City Police District 10 Chief of Police has issued a warning to Kabul City residents, especially in Police District 10, advising of ongoing threats of suicide and/or coordinated attacks, and kidnapping against International Guest Houses, UN Offices, ICRC Offices, international and local banks and international and local residences.  He asks that anyone that observes suspicious activity immediately notify the police. 

What a wonderful place to live. 

I started H is for Hawk, by Helen Macdonald and the first chapter was really good.  Very smooth reading I don’t know how to else to put it. 

5.5.16

7:52am—My ride comes in 25 minutes, I listen to Tibetan bowls on low volume as I get everything together.  I wish I could perform my constitution and the only way to do that is have a smoke and I don’t want to smoke.  A decision will be made between the eternal spaces of these fonts.

10:11pm—The weekend is upon me may I wash clothes in peace, may I sit and do nothing and listen to nothing in peace, may I know if it be the will of omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent forces beyond my understanding to reveal a plan for the rest of my life instead of what I have been doing.

I just discovered that in the basement of this guesthouse there are treadmills and dead weights and if I weren’t so tired I’d push myself to lose a few pounds and shred the stress that is leaving me dead tired and depressed every damn day. 

I am glad this Roshan business class is coming to a close.  Four more lessons next week and we’ll be done driving through gauntlets of tension and wo I was assigned another class beginning next week as well and now I am in negotiations to postpone my accrued holiday so I can leave 32 accrued holiday days earlier from my last day in July.  Will they go for it I don’t know, because honestly I don’t know what or where I should go at the end of this month and I don’t want to stay here if I’m not in the classroom and I don’t want to stay in Dubai any longer than in transit believe me.  Flying back to the states is even an option now though reading in the news it is going to become even more unbearable getting in and out of airports.  Yuck.  Maybe I could just go to Vancouver, eh?  I just don’t know. 

I do know one thing.  It’s time to sleep.